Twilight, I don't wanna fight...

It only seems fitting to write about teen vampire books and movies after writing about social awkwardness, right?

I will admit, when I first heard about the Twilight books, I thought they sounded completely ridiculous. And then I saw the first Twilight movie and thought it was sort of ridiculous with horrible directing and sort of terrible acting, but it made me want to read the books. So I did. And I read them in about 3 weeks, which is a super fast time frame for me to read FOUR books. And subsequently, I have seen all of the movies that have been released and will absolutely be going to see the two Breaking Dawn movies. So, I thought I would give a Becca-esque review of the books first and then  the movies.  

The books

Overall, the books are mostly only good for entertainment purposes. There’s not much depth to them. And, sidenote: Bella Swan is NOT a good role model for young girls. (If you want a strong, confident role model for young girls/adolescents, you should read The Hunger Games). The writing is not great. But, where Stephenie Meyer lacks in the creative-and-skillful-use-of-words department, she basically makes up in her story telling. She is able to create a world that sounds more or less believable…. to some extent. Though she is absolutely not in the realm of J.K.Rowling, she does know how to tell an entertaining story.  

    I’m just going to assume everyone that might possibly reads this, already knows the general synopsis of the Twilight series so I’m not going to go into that.

   Another sidenote: I would never, ever recommend girls younger than 13 or 14 to read these books. No, they aren’t demonic or obscene. They just sort of absolutely make it seem like its okay for a girl in high school to become completely obsessed with a guy who “isn’t good for her.” And they make it seem like you can just have these little sex kitten make-out sessions with your hulky boyfriend and he will be the one to demonstrate self-control. Ha! Anyways, that was sort of a tangent.

Twilight (the book): This may be my favorite of the series. It actually tells a story that, for Stephenie Meyer, shows more depth than some of the other books. Yeah, the dialogue is super cheesy at times, but it works somehow. It’s definitely a quick read if you are over the age of 10. It also focuses a little more on Bella as an actual character, rather than just the other half of Edward. It doesn’t change your life or anything but it is a nice/entertaining time-passer. I would give it a grade of B+ or A-.

New Moon(book): I think the best thing about this book were the Volturi. They are just cool. Good job, Mrs.Meyer. J The first time I read this, I just kind of hated it because I didn’t want Jacob to be involved with Bella at all. Then I read it a second time and I liked it a lot more. It’s nice to see Bella without Edward even if she is semi-suicidal-ish. Its not really cool that Bella’s character is so manipulative of Jacob and Edward’s emotions. But I guess in a perfect world, or a very fictional world, women can get away with that sort of thing and everything turns out just fine. Anyways, I would give this book a grade of: B or B+.

Eclipse: Yawn. I really did not care for this book. It was like the middle child, wearing hand-me-down clothes that don’t fit right. Bella, Edward, and Jacob all have extremely annoying moments in this book. Edward needs to let those steely balls drop and man up to Jacob and Jacob needs to just move on. Bella could have died in this book and I would have been okay with that. Ok, maybe not, but needless to say this was not my favorite book at all. I would give it a solid C-.

Breaking Dawn: Ok, I lied, this book is actually probably my favorite. Yay very interesting things happen in this book! Obviously, Bella and Edward get to do the love bag dance which was pretty tastefully written. The sections where the story is written from Jacob’s perspective are sort of …. not so great but bearable. Then cool things happen with Bella. Then weird things happen between  Bella’s offspring and Jacob. Too weird for me. Then there is some fighting and then a quick but nice ending. I would give this book a grade of: A.

So…. what do YOU think of the books? Are they in your fireplace or on the mantle? Are they something you would read frequently, infrequently, or never? 

Hyposocial

This post is going to be all about being shy. Just so you know. 


I don't know if other shy people think about and analyze their shyness...but I do. A lot. I have always been a shy person, even when I was little. I don't know why. But there is also a side of me that is not shy at all. There's a side that likes attention and likes to be outgoing. So...that makes for a bit of conflict in my brain. 

Basically, I equate shyness with mild-to-extreme social anxiety. I think being a quiet person is different than being shy. Being quiet just means you don't talk all of the time or you only say things that you really mean to say. Being shy means you are literally scared to talk or to be yourself in a given situation. 


So, when I say I am shy, I mean that I have alot of social anxiety. Not in every social situation, just mostly in situations that involve more than three people or authority figures. My shyness was so bad in college (undergrad) that I would literally get light headed if I even thought about answering a question in class. My palms would sweat and I thought I would pass out. And then I felt like my whole body would just lock up and I knew I wouldn't be able to speak. It was not fun.  However, giving a prepared speech never bothered me too much. I think because I knew exactly what I would say because it was all planned out. Now, I still get shy in school but I am more concentrated on fighting against it. Whenever I go to talk to my professors, I have to take a deep breath and say a little mantra in my head. I still end up sometimes being out of breath and having my heart race but I just force myself to try to be calm and I talk a little slower. I think it also helps that talking to my professors is usually a brief interaction and so I know that I will get leave the situation soon. 


When I am in groups of people, my anxiety is just sort of annoying to me. I like people. I like getting to know people and letting people get to know me. Unfortunately, if it is a big group of people I usually feel so anxious that all I think about doing is leaving or hiding the fact that I am so anxious. This becomes super annoying when I am going to a friend's birthday party or baby shower or any celebratory event that involves *gasp* more than two or three people. In groups, my shyness sort of morphs into a complete lack of social grace. I fidget. I avoid eye contact (which I totally hate doing). My voice gets higher. I stare alot without meaning to. I say "That's cool" waaay too many times. And sometimes I throw up. Haha, no I don't ever do that. :) 


 A couple of months ago, I was so frustrated with being shy and just felt like I wanted my life to change. I wanted to be a warm and friendly person, not someone who freaks out about going to a birthday dinner and then is silent unless someone talks to me first. So, I started praying and crying. I prayed for a long time, probably most of the night. The next morning, I woke up and I just had this string of thoughts: I love people. I am not afraid. God is with me. I don't need to be afraid because He is with me. I can't even explain how amazing I felt that whole day. It was a Sunday so I actually went to church (which has been an anxiety invoking thing for me in the past because of the large amounts of people). I made myself talk to people. And every time, I was about to speak, I just reminded myself of those thoughts I had had in the morning. It helped. A lot. I was calm. I got so much more out of conversations than I usually do, because I was actually actively listening instead of worrying about what I would say next. I thought my whole "little social problem" was fixed! 


Now, a few months after my little revelation, I don't feel quite as anxious as I used to. Unfortunately, I have let some of the fear creep back into my life. Overall though, I think I am slowly, sometimes painfully, getting to a much better place. I am learning a lot about myself through this process. I think part of getting over this anxiety is not allowing myself to think a lot of negative thoughts about how others will perceive me. I know it sounds super cheesy, but you have to love yourself in order to change. So, I love me:) 


If this post made you fall asleep, sorry. Its just something I wanted to write about. I think my next post will be about the Twilight books/movies/madness or Harry Potter because those are super mature, interesting topics. :)